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Hey friends! 😊
[The following topic is optional. We can talk about your day, tell us what's on your mind, grab a hug, or just pop in and say hi!]
Last week we talked about the light and dark of the holidays, and how it is ok to feel a variety of different ways about them. We'll spend the next several weeks exploring the kinds of struggles we might experience from a trauma perspective.
So today I thought we might tackle Overstimulation and Hypervigilance.
It is easy to get into sensory overload this time of year. Whether it's the stores getting busier, an uptick in bright lights/sounds, more frequent social gatherings, or expectations on our time and finances (like gift-giving, decorating, food-making, etc.) - the holidays as wonderful as they can be can also add more to the already full plate of trauma healing. We might not even celebrate the holidays, but even our routine trips to the store can be transformed into a unique form of survival mode. Triggers may be more frequent. Our attachment styles might get stretched. Our window of tolerance may be at its limit. We may find ourselves feeling increasingly anxious, irritable, frustrated, angry, worn out, and a plethora of other emotions.
Our hypervigilance may also spike in anticipation of (or in response to) these things. We may find ourselves rehearsing how we can best avoid crowds, traffic, music, etc. We might ruminate over and over the potential conversational directions at the dinner table. If you are like me, you might even visualize a number of exit strategies to return to your safe place! We may be sitting in the peace of an empty house but unable to quiet a busy mind.
The first thing to know is that if you experience any of these things or more, you are not alone. It's not just you or in your head. These kinds of things have a way of affecting everyone, whether they realize it or not.
We may also have related needs to consider like Autism, ADHD, OCD, HSP, chronic pain and disabilities. I believe it is crucial to be compassionate with ourselves like we would a friend dealing with the same things. It is also so important to understand what unique things we might need, so we can try to meet those things for ourselves. If it helps us to go shopping earlier in the morning to ensure less people in the stores, go for it! If we have to take a different road through town, or drive 20 minutes longer on that roadtrip to avoid the highway traffic - awesome! If we need to minimize decorations this year, that's ok! If we need to say no to a social gathering, the world isn't going to end... really... yes despite what anyone else says! Maybe we decide to go to one and graciously decline another. Maybe we go but only stay a couple hours. Maybe we bring one small store-bought dish instead of stressing over 3 home-made ones, or do homemade gifts this year (those are my personal favorite, by the way!). Maybe we need to pre-schedule some "me" days on our calendar in-between responsibilities.
When it comes to trauma healing - holiday or any day, know what works for you and what doesn't. If meditation helps someone else but makes you more stressed, don't push yourself. Have a plan of things to do when you sense that you're beginning to feel overwhelmed. Maybe some things do the trick for you most of the time. Try to also include things that have worked only sometimes or maybe in the past. As a backup, keep a couple ideas on the back burner that haven't really worked before but maybe could unexpectedly in a pinch. Deep breathing, mindfulness/grounding techniques, relaxation visualizations, meditation, walking in nature, drinking a glass of water, yoga and stretching, getting up and moving, changing rooms or environment, exercise, a quick snack, lighting a scented candle, designating a quiet spot, a music playlist, doing art or another hobby, journaling, distracting with a movie marathon, taking a nap(!!), reaching out for support - are some ideas. Maybe it's as simple as being aware of wearing some comfy-feeling clothes. (By the way, when thinking about your support system, I hope you might consider including 7cups on that list!)
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Check-in Questions:
💡 How are things with you?
💡 Have you ever struggled with overstimulation and hypervigilance this time of year?
💡 If so, what techniques work best for you?
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[Calm scene with snow-covered forest, snowflakes gently falling, and sunlight peeking through the trees]
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Feel free to check in again over the next couple days. For all those writing in or reading quietly, you're in my thoughts.
💛 Jess
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