Written by 7 Cups therapist: Heather Emerich, LCSW
I have been meaning to start a blog for months now. With all that is going on in our country and the world now seems like a good time to start. After I had my own shut down and disbelief of what happened I started to think about how my clients and community would be impacted. I thought of the children that would worry about their families being deported even if they were citizens. I thought of the fear they would have because of their skin color. I thought of all my clients that were LGBTQIA and the fear they have for themselves and their newly legal families. I thought of the victims of sexual abuse, the fear they already had that no one believed them and how much worse that is now. I thought of the victims of domestic violence, the fear the no one could help them and how that is much worse now.
Now I’ve started to feel overwhelmed and helpless as well. I first take a deep breath to stop my fears spinning out of control and then look into my therapist tool box to see the best way to help address problem. If there is ever a time for Mindfulness this is that time. So, what is mindfulness and how can it help in these situations? Mindfulness is the act of being in the moment. It is not worrying about the future and getting stuck in the past. It is being in the here and now. Mindfulness is an emotionally non-reactive state. It is not judging the experience as good or bad.
Wait you say, how can I not react to this? The answer is to be in the moment. To not look at what is going to happen in January but what is happening right now. Right now, there are people in our lives whether we know them or just pass them by that could use kindness and understanding. We are still having dinner with friends and family and those moments we need to be present supporting them and enjoying our time with them. Use these moments to get involved in positive activities to make real change in someone’s life or the world. Mindfulness is about acknowledging your emotions even if they are painful and not reacting to the painful feelings. This is how we remain clear headed and not cause more harm. This is where we make choices to fight in ways that matter. This is how we chose to not let this take over our existence. This is how we do not get wrapped up in hate. This is what I am choosing to do.
The 7 Cups Chapter at the University of Georgia held an end-of-the-semester event to help alleviate tensions during exam season. Any students walking by who were feeling stressed were welcome yesterday to grab a free donut and pick up some information about how to seek and provide stress to fellow students through their support system on 7 Cups.
These students have been working hard for several months to spread the word and scale compassionate support across their campus. Community building is no easy task, but these folks are up to the task!
If you are interested in setting up a chapter and/or student support system at your college or university, please send a message to @Pat here.
That's a lot of donuts!
Written by 7 Cups Therapist: Pella Weisman
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (CA MFT #86517) and Dating Coach
There’s a syndrome going around among many of my clients that seems to be as is as normal as the common cold. I’ve dubbed it Dating Fatigue Syndrome.
How do you know if you’ve got it? Take this quiz below:
1) Do you find yourself dreading going online to check in on the activity around your profile or the latest emails, looks, or favorites from interested folks?
2) Are you critical of every person who contacts you and can’t seem to muster up the energy to contact them back?
3) Does spending a night at home in your pajamas sound more appealing than meeting the partner of your dreams?
If you have answered “Yes! That’s me!” to any of the above, you may be suffering from Dating Fatigue Syndrome.
Some of the common causes of Dating Fatigue Syndrome include:
- You’ve been on a string of bad dates (you know, the kind where you don’t even enjoy the hour that you spend with your date, let alone have any interest in anything more). Why bother with one more?
- You’ve been rejected by someone you were interested in and it feels too hard to face the possibility of another rejection. Or you just ended a serious relationship and feel hopeless about finding one that works.
- You’ve been dating like a maniac, going out several times a week, and you’re burnt out.
- You’re struggling with health issues, high stress at work, or other factors outside of your dating life that require a lot of your energy. Your tank of energy reserves for dating is running low to empty.
Sound familiar? The good news is there IS a cure for Dating Fatigue Syndrome. (and it’s pretty much the same cure as for the common cold). Ready for it?
Time? Yes. It’s that simple. You need some time off. Time to recuperate, time to invest in your friendships, time to handle the other issues going on in your life. Go ahead, take some time off. Spend Saturday night at home in your pajamas. Remember the relationships and activities in your life that rejuvenate you and do more of those. Or just rest. For a week, a month, or even several months. When you are ready to come back to dating you will have a renewed perspective, an open mind, and a full tank of energy to get out there and meet the world (or your soul mate).